Not Quite Getting It All Right.

I need to stop using the word adulting as a verb. I like it, but I think it’s time to move on. I’m an adult. Yes. The key is that sometimes I behave like a responsible adult in ways I’m surprised by and impressed with. So I need a new made up verb. I’m responsibiliting? Responsibilitizing? I don’t know. Sometimes I even manage this responsiblerating with some level of success. Sometimes not.

Part One:

We decided to keep the truck because it was reliable and not costing me any money. That’s responsible! We fixed the u-joints last year. That’s responsible! We decided to put snow tires on the truck so that maybe it’s a more enjoyable and versatile vehicle through the winter. Sergio found a deal and I eventually went into town and got really fancy snow tires put on the truck while also getting one tire for free and an additional $70 rebate. SOOOO R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.L.E!

Yesterday the truck wouldn’t start. I’ve had the tires on that truck for one week today.

Part Two:

Back in March I applied for the PFD. This is the magic money you get for living in Alaska. We have finally been here long enough to qualify. I had to jump through some serious hoops because I only responsibilitized enough to apply. I had not responsibilerated previous to that day and therefore had no Alaska Driver’s license or much other documentation to show that I had indeed been living here side by side with my husband and child.

So yesterday when magic money was magically deposited into our accounts, you can guess which two people got a PFD and which one did not.

Part Three:

In response to the personality conflict happening in Rosalind’s classroom, we have been Parenting with a capital P. Consequences that can be earned away. Positive reinforcement. Double attention to detail and over-achievement. Constant check-ins with my kid about behavior, effort, kindness. Our responsibility can be seen from space. (It’s not that we didn’t do these things before. It’s just that everything always worked out fine before without extreme attention to every minute detail).

I noticed that the new and improved honesty coming from my kid suddenly started sounding fishily the same from day to day. I should have increased my responsibilitating sooner, because yesterday we got an email from the teacher. Turns out Rolo’s new and improved honesty did NOT strictly match the definition of honesty as humans define it. The lesson this week is “lying by omission.”

Are anyone else’s wrinkles being caused by little girls in coon skin caps and panda robes? Because mine are…




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