Let’s Make Bumper Stickers

I felt inspired by my new Alaska slogan at the end of my post yesterday. Let’s see if I can do better.

Alaska! If convenience is not your thing.

Bethel! Where mail is an event.

Fairbanks! All the struggles of Alaska tempered by Taco Bell.

North Pole! Pretty much Arkansas only whiter.

Alaska! If the batshit crazy headline isn’t from Florida then it’s probably from here.

Bethel! If Third World is one step too far for you.

Fairbanks! If you like cold weather but want to learn to hate it, we’ve got you covered.

North Pole! Where the climate makes you question Santa’s judgement.

Alaska! If frostbite scares you less than spiders.

Alaska! At least we don’t have tornadoes.

I expect to be tapped by the Board of Tourism any second now.

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