Sometimes These Things Write Themselves

Setting: Around 11 pm last night, Sergio and I asleep in bed. Roughly one hour after we had already been awakened by our duplex neighbors car alarm going off inside his garage, the room on the other side of the wall of our bedroom.

An insanely loud, rumbling noise rolls through the house, like we are under attack or something.

Me (Flying upright in bed, blind, hitting Sergio): What the F&%k was that?

Sergio: Nothing.

Me: That horrific noise was nothing?

Sergio (already going back to sleep): Yeah.

Me (still up and nervous): Was it in our house or next door?

Sergio: Next door.

Me (beginning to remember that our neighbor had been doing construction in his garage all day): Are you sure?

Sergio: Yeah, we’ve known about this.

Me: We have? Did they talk to us about this ahead of time?

Sergio: Yeah, we’ve known for months.

Me (knowing they haven’t lived there more than a month): We’ve known for months that our neighbor was going to work on something in the middle of the night and make a godawful racket right now?

Sergio: No, the state.


Me: The state is working on this house right now?

Sergio: Yeah. No. THE STATE OF ALASKA! (Emphasis his).

Me (comprehension dawning): You’re still dreaming. Lay down.

Sergio (sitting up and getting aggravated): No, I’m fine! The state of Alaska is working on a therapist for my client!

Me: So the noise is the state of Alaska working on a therapist for your client and we’ve known for months?

Sergio: Yeah.

Me: No.

Sergio: I don’t understand what I’m saying wrong.

I repeat what he said and then say what I think happened. He thinks it over for a second. He obviously hears the difference. I assume he is waking up and starting to make sense.

Sergio: The state of Alaska is working on a therapist for my client!

Me: Okay…well, since you don’t actually know what happened I guess I will go check around the house.

I go upstairs and check on Rosalind. Check all the locks. Look out all the windows. Get some water. Check everything again. Go back to bed about ten minutes later. Sergio appears to be completely asleep.

Sergio: So you understand what I’m saying now, right?

Me: We were awakened by the state of Alaska working next door to get a therapist for your client?

Sergio: Exactly.

Me: Goodnight.

*What the noise may have been: 1. Our neighbor deciding on a bad time to finish a construction project before hearing me curse loudly. There is virtually no buffer between their garage wall and our bedroom wall. 2. A confused Santa landing his sleigh on our roof a couple of months early. It is North Pole after all. 3: Some sort of wildlife messing around the perimeter of the house. 4: Not a real noise at all but my own Daylight Savings induced night terror/confusion. I have no idea anymore if it really happened or not.

One thought on “Sometimes These Things Write Themselves

  1. That is really weird, he used to sleep walk as a child, and it was really hard to wake him up, I guess he still has this problem occasionally. Wow, You may have to throw water on him.

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